Emma by: Kara Rae

I’m running through the woods, it’s cold and dark, I’m guessing around midnight. The small slivers of the moon peeking through the low, smoky clouds are the only light to lead my path. I’ve been running for 562 seconds. I can feel him, it, running close behind me. It’s heavy footsteps are taunting me. I stop to catch my breath and turn around to see it hovering over me. It’s wearing a long, black cloak with a hood that reminds me of the Grim Reaper. Spiders are crawling out of it’s body from it’s eyes, nose, and mouth.

I suddenly wake up, breathing heavily, and sweating. As I sit up quickly and wipe the tears from my burning eyes, my nurse rushes into my room, followed by her assistant who is holding my, old, tan, straight jacket. This is the third time I’ve had this dream this week and I can tell by her face, my nurse isn’t pleased with me.

My room is dark and cold, number 317. Sally is my nurse’s name, and mine is Emma. Sally is 45 years old, she has brown eyes and dirty blonde hair that she usually wears up in a bun, she is married, but never wears her ring because in a mad house, they’re against the rules. Sally dressed in a gray dress that went down to her knees and standard nurse shoes that looked rather comfortable. I am 18, I have grayish-blue eyes and long, dark brown, wavy hair, as for clothing, I am forced to wear white pants, a white shirt, and occasionally my tan strait jacket.  I live in the Arizona State Hospital, yes, the mental asylum. I am in here for a few “disorders”, such as Sleep Terror Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, and I’m a soon to be Sociopath. It’s been almost five months of strait jackets, medication, therapy, isolation, and hell. All I can think of is Death. It seems so happy and peaceful. I could waste a whole day just imagining a world where my lord, Lucifer, and I reign for eternity in the very chambers of the depths of Hell.

They took away just about everything that they could that had anything close to a point on it and everything that allowed me a social life. Sally said it was for my own good until I’m “better”. But besides death and life after, all I can manage a true thought of is my blade. I miss it more than anything. The nights spent in a dream of cutting are the best. I prefer to call it a fantasy rather than just a dream. It’s so calming to watch the crimson blood run.  It’s like a play, the blade dances and glides on my skin and the blood river is the price I pay for the beautiful show. I often long for the feeling of the cold metal to caress my skin. The feeling it gives me is selcouth. I have this dream on a regular basis, along with a dream of burning down this damned asylum.

I like to live in my own world, reality is torture. Sally thinks that my medication pulls my head out of the clouds, but all it really does is drug me up and help me stay in my head. I don’t mind it so much anymore. Though, Sally has been wanting to take me off of it because Selfinix is a black market or “street” drug, as she calls it and she doesn’t trust it. She is also against it because it helps me and my lord communicate and it usually scares Sally to the point where she won’t come near my door unless she absolutely has to.

It’s the 21st of September, Lucifer promised to visit me one last time tonight so I really hope that Sally goes home early again.

Sally snaps me back into reality, frees me from my strait jacket, gives me my Selfinix and helps me back into my bed. She, then, turns around and quietly stalks out of the room, turning off the light on her way. Then she shuts, and locks my door behind her, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

36 minutes and 15 seconds go by. I’ve been staring at the old, cracked, concrete ceiling and counting the seconds as I wait for my lord. Suddenly, the door starts, slowly, creaking open. A tall man wearing a black cloak and hood steps into my room and walks up to me. He covers my mouth with his sweaty and shaking, left hand and tells me to be quiet. He slowly moves his right hand onto my chest, pushing me down forcefully and looking into my eyes as if he could see right through me. I close my eyes, I can feel my heart palpitating and I envision it. It’s him. Hundreds of spiders crawl out from his eyes, nose, and mouth and disappear into his cloak. I count to four then bite his hand and kick him as hard as I possibly can, then scream loudly as he staggers back in pain. He quickly reconvened his strength and sprinted forward towards me. He was yelling at me to open my eyes and to stop screaming as he shook me roughly. I held my eyes closed tighter, unable to move and barely capable of making sound. I counted to 63 then quickly opened my eyes and used all of my strength to sit up as I let out a short, loud, yell for help.

Sally was sitting beside me on my bed, trying to calm me. The assistant was standing by my door, holding my strait jacket. Complete and uttermost terror filled his eyes and was portrayed perfectly on his face.

I felt a sudden, sharp, pain in my right thigh. 23 seconds later, the room was spinning and getting blurry. Sally’s words seemed to flow together and I could no longer understand her. 13 seconds later, it was all blank and nothing but static filled my ears.

I couldn’t tell if it was just a dream, or reality. I was looking into a mirror that seemed to be floating in the darkness and perfectly aligned with my body. My feet were glued in their place. I was staring at my reflection in the mirror, the longer I looked, the more I changed. My eyes went completely black and horns grew from the top of my head. My demons were showing themselves. 49 seconds went by before I realized that my lord was on her way. Slowly, her reflection appeared in the mirror beside mine. Her reflection showed starting with her feet and progressively grew to her entire image. She was beautiful. She had black eyes with red pupils the color of blood, an hourglass figure; she was tall and skinny with long, black hair that reminded me of Betty Paige. Long, curled, red horns poked through her hair. She wore a long, black dress, a silver pentagram necklace, and a crown made from the bones of the deceased.

She started talking within 37 seconds of being in the mirror. In a sweet, calm, voice she offered to save me and take me away from this asylum. She said that I could rule the demons and souls of the sacred fallen angels with her for eternity. She told me that god was cruel, heartless, that he was a coward, and that he wouldn’t take, or save me. He’s fake and she had a place for me when he didn’t. In return for her deed, I had to give up my soul completely and let my demons in control. I wouldn’t be me; I’d have to give up everything.

My heartbeat got faster and my stomach sank instantly and simultaneously. I had 76 more seconds to make my final decision. My heart screamed no and my brain triggered my mouth to let it out in a whisper. I kept repeating it louder as her voice got deeper and more demonic as she seemed to spit her cruel words out. Her image got uglier, she now looked like him, my worst nightmare. I couldn’t take it anymore. I screamed “no”, then punched the mirror as hard as I possibly could. It shattered to hundreds of pieces before me. I soon felt drips of liquid on my foot. When I looked down, I was standing in a pool of blood. I glanced at the hand that I used to punch the mirror and realized that it had a piece of glass sticking out of it. I counted to three, tightly clenched me teeth, then quickly pulled the glass out.

Sally started yelling, my vision and hearing suddenly came back to me. Blood was everywhere and I was standing in the middle of the room, surrounded by the pool of my blood. Sally started crying. Through her sobs, she kept repeating that she was sorry. I didn’t understand why though, she hadn’t done anything and it truly hadn’t hurt me like I was expecting. It was more of a dark adventure, maybe I could manipulate her a little so she can see things through my eyes, I was pretty good at it anyway. Sally grabbed a syringe and walked up behind me. A sharp pain drilled into the right side of my neck, another into my left arm, and one last one directly into my heart. I fell to my knees, then closed my eyes as my weightless body collapsed onto the cold, concrete floor. I watched my entire life flash before my eyes in animated pictures with low, staticy words. I then realized what was happening, I was dying. 23 seconds later, everything went blank and my life was over. The quiet darkness was unbearably beautiful and I was gone.



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